A Game of Chicken

That's what I heard, folks, about a week ago. I was working on my laptop as the television smoked at my feet. "Next week's big KFC fight."

I looked up from my computer and saw two mean-looking dudes just inches apart, sharing eye lines, staring mortars.

Back to my work.

I awoke this morning to the result of the chicken fight. (People were anticipating, wagering, and watching that contest?)

Oh. Pardon me.

I had pictured fractured legs kicking a way to that last drumstick; crushing knuckles over the tiny tub of coleslaw; arms swinging for a wing. Brutes' brutality to a nutritionist's nightmare. In a fast food church.

Thinking back to "Next week's big KFC fight": I do remember getting the impression that those two dudes did not look like the type who would 'dine' at KFC.

___

The above piece was first published as "A Fight at KFC" on August 27, 2017

Book: Fire and Ice (Adams)

Fire and Ice

- The United States, Canada and the Myth of Converging Values -

by

Michael Adams

Monday is Victoria Day

That was news to me (yesterday). I had no idea.

It makes no difference to me, really. Working away makes my time go away.

News flash from this morning: A friend sent me an email linking me to Wojeck episodes on YouTube. Most of the uploads are from the last month. The videos appear to have been recorded off-air on VHS at SLP mode. Hardly optimal, but good enough for me.

In November of last year I wrote a bit about Wojeck, and my affection for that outstanding Canadian television series.

I sense there's a potential for serious conflict in my time management....

Yet Another Trek (Trekkie Town)

Space me. I mean....spare me.

Today I read the news that CBS All Access is going for another Trekkie show. This one will be titled Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.

Great name! Hopefully the material sprung forth from it will be good.

Star Trek: Picard is horrible, apparently. I freely admit I've not seen it.  Some of us know why this Trek was dead in outer space, even before cameras rolled. While Patrick Stewart is a fine actor, Jean-Luc Picard is not an intrinsically interesting character. He's not enough in dimension to carry a whole series. And Stewart lacks William Shatner's star power.

Star Trek: Discovery is unwatchable. I tried. I have the whole thing on Crave TV. Try five minutes. Off switch. I heard the second season was a big improvement. Captain Christopher Pike, Kirk's predecessor, is aboard, which has brought things up a few notches. Which leads to....

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds is about Pike and his crew. Clearly, CBS is trying to come up with a good Trek show. (The trail of space debris illustrates that it's not easy.)

Could this series bring me back to Trekkie Town?


Post Script: Go light on the CGI. Please. And no goofy space battles. Okay, you're allowed one.

Book: Ernest Hemingway on Writing (Phillips, editor)

Ernest Hemingway on Writing

Edited by

Larry W. Phillips

Electronic Residue

Image Orthicon ---- Immy ---- Emmy.

___

First posted as "Newton's Waste" on July 20, 2017.

Killer Bees or a Dangerous Corvette?

While I was visiting Toronto with a friend in the summer of 1978 a decision had to be made: the right one could bring cinematic pleasure (not that kind of movie!), the wrong one could make us reel. We were teenagers, sponges, but James and I did want to do the right thing that beautifully warm and sunny day.

Outside the Imperial Six Theatre -- remember that? those? -- on Yonge Street we stood, monitoring the colour television monitors which unreeled clips from the movies on offer.

Should we make a bee-line for the Master of Disaster's new epic, The Swarm, or take a promised ride with some novice's Corvette Summer?

This could take some time, and it did, believe me. Deciding some years later what VHS tape should be rented from the local video store had nothing on trying to pick between two new hot summer films -- ones aimed perfectly at teenagers.

Corvette Summer, starring that Mark Hamill guy from the summer before, was not bad. Entertaining with some good characterizations.

The Swarm?! Word got around quickly regarding that disaster; James and I must have known....

___

The above piece was first posted as "Decisions at the Imperial Six in 1978's Summer" on July 15, 2017.

Andrew Cartmel Writes

One of my favourite active writers is Andrew Cartmel. His fiction and non-fiction works have me waiting for the next in line.

His blog, Narrative Drive, is a series of thoughts on books and movies, old and new. The Brit's infectious enthusiasm is apparent in the various postings, with the recent bits on a number of pulp crime novels making me want to explore the genre beyond the book covers....which are fab!

The "Vinyl Detective" series is now five strong, with the latest book scheduled to be released later this year. I've read the first two in the chain, and have reviewed them ("Written in Dead Wax"", "The Run-Out Groove"), with the third ("Victory Disc") sitting on the reading table waiting to be enjoyed -- Turk and Fanny await their biscuits, so get on with it, mate!

Script Doctor: The Inside Story of Doctor Who 1986-1989 is an absorbing non-fiction work about Cartmel's tenure on Doctor Who, just as that long-running British science fiction series was winding down -- though they did not know it at the time, of course. (I rarely, if not barely, mention the new "Who". It does not offend me; it just bores me. I tried watching a few eps recently.) The show's encumbrance by a static budget, with a BBC "sixth floor" in stasis, makes one who is interested in TV production appreciate what DW's new script editor had to deal with when producing product. These television makers weren't the first to experience "if it's not one thing, it's another", so much a part of any production, big or small, and their tasking of reinvigorating and maintaining a series that BBC controller Michael Grade so vocally despised, albeit not always without reason, should make one realize that what went-out to your telly was often a simple reduction and compression of uncontrollable chaos. (Sitting in a pub till late at night instead of working on that special makeup might not sit well with those who hoped for more; even considering the restrictive budget. And in the control room, that televised cricket match may very well be more interesting than what's playing on the in-studio monitors.)

Script Doctor is outstanding. The fact that Cartmel drew much of the book's source material from a diary that he kept during Who's writing and production phases, makes for full-spectrum authenticity. I'm working on a review, with the initial draft coming fast: the piece opens with a background story on my relationship with the classic series. But I soon realized that I want to watch a few more stories from the so-called "Cartmel Masterplan" era before I publish the book review. Thank you, Britbox! They're all there.

The story's in process. I just need a little more time and space....

Book: A Short History of Progress (Wright)

A Short History of Progress

by

Ronald Wright

Cereal Spend*

Well, almost.

Recently I targeted a mom and pop "essential" business with the sole intention to spend some money. Like a lot of folk during this troubling time, I've not been spending much money, outside of essentials (groceries).

Small-business owners may feel forgotten, but I'm going to do what I can to help.


* I don't eat breakfast cereal, but I couldn't resist the obvious joke.

Chuck Remembered

There are markers in our lives that we remember more often than not with fondness. Memories of the entertainment world make for some strong pull-backs later in life. Popular music, films, and, especially, television programs are penciled into a mnemonic diary, allowing us to get all warm and fuzzy years or decades later when someone at a dinner party states with gleeful nostalgia: "I never missed The Six Million Dollar Man. Eight O'clock on Sunday nights was my special time."

Television programs we watch in our youth and childhood are with us forever, whether we like it or not. ("Gilligan's Island? Never heard of it. I don't know what you're talking about.") However, what often happens is that when we later dip our toes into those same waters, we find the sensation less pleasing or satisfying than what our memories of the experience suggested. Times change and time moves, all but destroying sentimentality in their paths.

Some programs are exempted, of course. For me, one of these survivors is a short-lived live-to-air production by the name of The All Night Show, which ran from September of 1980 to August of 1981 on originating station CFMT (“MTV”, or "Multilingual Television"), UHF channel 47. Having sampled some bits recently – bits are all that survive – I was more than surprised at how reputable my memories of the show were.

Chuck the Security Guard was the host of TANS. The premise was that the station's dependable night-shift security staff of one had the run of the station in the wee hours, the all hours, of the night. The guard with video-switching abilities would run episodes of old television series' like The Outer Limits and The Twilight Zone (they were just 15 years old then), industrial films from some years past, Betty Boop cartoons, old movie trailers, and independent shorts. Having time to kill between the programmed materials, Chuck joked around with the off-screen, never to be seen, Ryerson the Cameraman, and with him staged gags or bits that U.S. late night host David Letterman would popularize coast-to-coast in the following years. There was one bit I remember where the guys trekked from the studio proper to the building's roof. From there they aimed the television camera at a phone booth that was on the opposite side of the street below. Guess what they did....

In reality, Chuck was played by Toronto-based actor, writer, and comedian Chas Lawther. Although reserved in real life (in the interviews I've seen him in), Lawther was having the time of his life while in front of the TANS camera. In his sporty but standard duty uniform and white sneakers, Chuck now bears some resemblance to Pee-Wee Herman. No doubt his slightly lanky build furnishes some of the visual similarities, but, unlike Pee-Wee, Chuck is an adult while still exhibiting some child-like mannerisms and enthusiasms. Watching TANS today convinces me that this way of playing the character was the right one. After all, don't we like it when someone looks as though they are enjoying themselves? The byproduct is we, the viewers, enjoy ourselves.

Occasionally he would be asked, usually through a letter he read on camera, to say hi to someone such as a faithful viewer. To oblige he would stand, take on a professional security guard pose, point, and yell “hey, you”. Chuck's always welcomed call of "hey, you!" quickly became the signature piece, for both the character and the show.

Speaking of characters, the guest stars of Paul Del Stud and Fran the Nurse were always a special treat. You never knew when one of them was going to show up to visit with friend Chuck. Fran seemed to be forever knitting and Paul was perpetually shooting off his mouth about 'this is how it is'. Great stuff for a teenage viewer.

This was the tone of a typical evening with the dynamic security guard and his all night show. Unfortunately, it all came to a crashing halt after one season. The show we slowly but surely discovered and grew quickly to love deeply was canned by the suits at "Chuck's" station, CFMT-MTV. I remember an interview with one of the head honchos soon after he cut the strings. He spoke words of finality I shall never forget: "This station has to start thinking about making money." From a financial standpoint the decision made some sense, perhaps. The fact is that even though we saw only Chuck, and heard only Ryerson, there was a crew in the control room and studio.

I do understand these words, the order in which they are assembled, and what they mean – they are straight to the point, without subtext, and are non elusive or evasive -- but I also understand that when you have a 'hit' like TANS, it can end up paying dividends to the producing company. In fact, media ratings systems at the time pointed out that Chuck was bringing 'em in. The problem for CFMT was that franchise companies, like Pizza Pizza, weren't sure they wanted to buy late-late night advertising slots. For the duration of the show's existence there were lots of commercials for small businesses, which are great and valued customers but they don't pay the big dollars. The All Night Show needed a little more time to build a strong advertising base, stocked with at least one big customer. “Chuck's” solid viewership numbers certainly would have allowed the station's sales department to charge commensurate ad rates, but it was not to be.

CFMT continued to promote the show after the cuts, but without Chuck at the switcher it was not the same. It could not be saved with a line of 'Hey, don't fret, you can still watch your favourite oldies on CFMT's The All Night Show!'. Like many Chuck fans, I tuned into the new version and saw the opening title card; an old series or short came on; I pressed the 'off' button.

Static.

Fizzle.

We dedicated viewers loved the show's original format. It was a major part of its appeal. It was live!

And it still lives.

___

Note: A much "electronically simplified" version of the above piece premiered in Toronto-based writer Greg Woods's print publication The Eclectic Screening Room, issue 21.

Greg's blog: The Eclectic Screening Room

***

The above piece first appeared as "Articles: Memories of Chuck" on February 20, 2017

Book: The Kids in the Hall - One Dumb Guy (Myers)

The Kids in the Hall

- One Dumb Guy -

by

Paul Myers

A Forever Question: Make Me Laugh

“Since before your sun burned hot in space and before your race was born, I have awaited a question.”

Sir. Why are sitcoms seldom funny?

Donald's Big Retweets

For the first time, I visited Donald Trump's twitter account: twitter.com/realDonaldTrump

Yikes! During my very brief visit to the page I noted a lack of Donald Originals, but I did see retweet after retweet of tweets by a guy named Gregg Jarrrett. ("Who's Gregg Jarrett?")

Gregg Jarrett's twitter bio:

"Legal and political analyst for Fox News Channel. Author of THE RUSSIA HOAX and WITCH HUNT, available now."


A picture is beginning to form. Yes, Fox News. I know about those guys. It all makes sense to me now....

More Trudeau

Former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau (1919 - 2000) fascinates many of us who remember when he was this great country's leader (1968 - 1979, 1980 - 1984). Whether or not Trudeau was a great Prime Minister is almost irrelevant all these years later, and one does not have to be a Liberal to find his history as a man and leader endlessly fascinating.

Canadian writer Nino Ricci wrote a book on Trudeau that warrants being read if one has any interest at all in Canadian politics, or wonders what all the fuss from the Right is about and why they cannot dig Canada's 15th Prime Minister out from under their sensitive skins.

Part reportage, part history lesson, Pierre Elliott Trudeau (2009) is to me an important work about an important Canadian figure.

Ricci starts off the book by telling the Trudeau Tale from his own perspective. One of his elementary school teachers was watching a program on the politician on the school's portable television set. He said to the future award-winning Canadian writer that Pierre Elliott Trudeau was going to be an important man in Canadian politics. End of first chapter.

I could not put this book down. At one point there were just eighty pages to read and I picked up the book intending to knock off about half. I finished it in one sitting. Nino Ricci knows how to tell a story. The read was highly instructive from a background and historical perspective: This reader had not realized that Trudeau could be a physical bully (in a back coffee room he all but pushed René Levesque around right before an important cabinet vote), and fellow Liberal party member Judy LaMarsh (1924 - 1980) absolutely hated the man.

The joke for me is that I've never read any of Nino Ricci fictional works. It's time for me to turn a page, perhaps.

___

The above piece first appeared as "Pierre Elliott Trudeau by Nino Ricci" on April 9, 2017.

If Such Creatures Attacked, I Would Laugh Out Loud!

Yesterday I listened to a BBC Radio 2 radio programme that had a fun theme: the best-of 1990s television series' awards show. The host covered sitcoms and dramas of different sorts, and she would start each nominee by playing its theme music. I did not know a lot of the British shows highlighted as many of them did not travel to this side of the lake -- as far as I know.

The category of 'best medical drama' included that big hit, ER.

The host made a quip: "(George Clooney at that point) was really only known for Attack of the Killer Tomaatoes."

I laughed out loud, and thought: "I gotta see that movie!"

Book: The Germans - Who Are They Now? (Watson)

The Germans

- Who Are They Now? -

by

Alan Watson

Go To The House Between

John Kenneth Muir, one of the finest bloggers writing about film and television media, wrote and directed a web-series of the fantasy field. The House Between ran from 2007 to 2009 and it was nominated for two consecutive years as "best web-series" by SyFy Portal.

Mr Muir was partly inspired by the old television fantasy/science fiction series', One Step Beyond, The Twilight Zone, and The Outer Limits, which pushed him to render The House Between in fitting monochrome.

For those of us who missed five characters in search of an exit, the series will start dropping on Muir's blog next Thursday, May 14th.

This piece was going to be longer until I decided to let the show's maker explain:

The House Between: The 2020 Relaunch

Book: The Love You Make - The Beatles (Brown)

The Love You Make

- An Insider's Story of The Beatles -

by

Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

Kraftwerk's Florian Schneider (1947 - 2020)

My friend pulled out an LP from his collection and asked if I had heard of the German band Kraftwerk. Radio-Activity on the turntable. That's how it started.

"Die Menschmaschine" ("the human machine") co-founder Florian Schneider died a week ago, but the news was released yesterday: sad news.

While Kraftwerk, which translates to English as "power station", was powered by electronics, its effect on popular music is immense.

The Man-Machine in the player.