Stephen Harper Deconstructed at the Polls

It happened in one night, through a simple vote tally sum six months ago: On October 19th we Canadians held our most recent federal election, and Canada, as a whole, lost its innocence. Millions of its citizens would henceforth have to live with less.

Game day saw Liberal Party of Canada leader Justin Trudeau and his team beat out sitting bull Prime Minister Stephen J. Harper by a substantial margin, forming a majority government in the feat; and putting Harper and his boys out to pasture, if you'll pardon the expression.

What happened to the Conservative Party of Canada's gastric campaign, anyway? It sure looked to me like someone let the air out of the bag.

The 22nd Prime Minister of Canada was aloof and arrogant, and his obsession with control would have booked Henry II into the nearest retirement home. Harper's demise was written, but his own narcissism would not have permitted him even a morsel of reality.

(The Conservatives still managed to win 99 seats out of 338, but my answer to that is they would have won a lot less had the election not happened so "early". That party was sliding down a seaweed-greasy boat launch slipway the week running up to election day.)

The day after the Canadian citizenry "mistakenly" voted for the wrong Party of Canada, I searched online for a video clip of Harper's concession speech. His manner struck me as being less gracious than what is usually expected of a politician who has been fragmented, but the biggest bit I drew from the shattered man was how bitter he looked. My scanners detected a dash of anger. It must not be forgotten that Harper hates "Justin".

There stood an unfortunate soul: A ministerial sad sack in an ill-fitting coat; Scurf of the Conservative Party of Canada.

It spoke:

To kickoff his monotone of defeat, Harper manufactured a mechanical wave for his party's crushed supporters, but through quivering lips he managed moans of voluminous profundity. "And friends, in a dangerous world, we have stood consistently for freedom, democracy and justice. This is the Canada we Conservatives have been building since the time of Sir John A. Macdonald, and this is the Canada to which, for the countless generations to come, we will be dedicated."

It sounds to me like the Conservatives hold the trademark on tenets.

Most profound: "But know this for certain: when the next time comes, this party will offer Canadians a strong and clear alternative based on our Conservative values."

"Conservative values"? (Those again.)

Hey, they ain't mine, pally. Besides, I don't go for spreadin' less margarine on my toast.

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The above piece first appeared as "The Deconstruction of the Harper Rights" on April 3, 2016.