Sunday Fun: Next Week's Big KFC Fight

That's what I heard, folks, a few years ago. I was working on my laptop as the television smoked at my feet. "Next week's big KFC fight."

Kentucky Fried Chicken? ("Well, folks, he chickened out. He had not the stomach for it.")

I looked up from my computer and saw two mean-looking dudes just inches apart, sharing eye lines, staring mortars. Airing threats.

Back to my work.

I awoke the next morning to the result of the chicken fight. (People were anticipating, wagering, and watching that contest? That very idea I found really hard to digest.)

Oh. Pardon me.

I had pictured fractured legs kicking a way to that last drumstick,

crushing knuckles over the tiny tub of coleslaw,

arms swinging for a wing.

Brutes' brutality to a nutritionist's nightmare. In a fast food church.

Thinking back to "Next week's big KFC fight": I do remember getting the impression that those two dudes did not look like the type who would 'dine' at a place like KFC.

Postscript: This all reminds me that the last time I ate at KFC was in the summer of 1993. It was the location at Bloor Street West and Euclid Avenue, here in Toronto. I remember, it was a beautifully sunny and warm day. Before visiting my Film Effects coworker, I felt the need to down some salt and fat. And whatever else was in that box. Fries?

Post-postscript: While tying up this piece I decided to check that particular store location. It's now a Mary Brown's Chicken. This change must have happened fairly recently. Oh... now I can't recreate my "KFC in 1993" experience. The question is, however: Would I have had the stomach for it?